I have grown to resent being a woman

I have grown to resent being a woman. All my life, I was made fun of by guys for being a bigger girl and the ones who didn’t would do sexually inappropriate things and laugh because they knew no one would stick up for me. I spend month to month plagued with periods like every woman and more painful problems than most.

I waited over 20 years to give myself to the person I loved, and he’s the man I married. Things were 50/50 and so great. We went out, he helped cook, he helped clean, he went everywhere with me, played games with me, and he helped rack up lots of debt.

Now we’re struggling for both of our careless spending. He agreed to let me do the finances and I run everything by him. I send emails or texts and keep a calendar outlining where the money goes.

He resents me. We stopped having dates, the cuddles are rare, the cleaning has to be done all by me unless I want to fight and nag and cry, and when I want to talk about it, I’m being unreasonable. He gets more money and tells me it’s not his fault I don’t have a job with perks.

It must be nice to go to work and come home to do whatever day after day. I have to clean, I have to do the bills, I have to cook, I have to get groceries, and I have to feel guilty whenever I need something not in the normal budget and feel like I need permission. I resent being a woman. Why is it my job to take shit from men, work full time, and make sure we don’t get evicted? Where are my perks?

I just wanted to feel loved, safe, and come home knowing my sacrifices make life better for someone who loves me and treats me like I’m the star of their world.

Like things were.

I love my husband very much, but I’ve come to resent being a woman. I’m unhappy and society thinks unhappy woman need to swallow and smile….always. They drill it into everyone. What was God thinking when he built women. He should have made miracle workers be stronger people.

My confession: I don’t like kids

I dont want kids either. I’m a 26 year old woman and haven’t liked kids since I was one. I think they’re fun to watch on YouTube saying funny things, at school blowing everyone away with their juvenile intelligence, or parents playing with them at the park, but I don’t want to in any way be emotionally responsible for them in my own home. I don’t even like babysitting. I only did it one time as a teen. Never again. It’s always awkward for me. I hate going to all female events. They want to talk about marriage, knitting, and kids. I get hounded and I hate it. “I don’t want kids,” is always met with silence and then followed with, “You will change your mind one day.” Everything moves on. I get tired of this. No, I WON’T change my mind. I haven’t changed my mind in 26 years. If my husband and I had a kid, I would take care if it, do my best to raise it right, but it would feel like a prison sentence inside. I would serve that sentence for the sake of a child, but I wouldn’t be happy about it.

Subway Sweet Onion Sauce

This is from the original copycat recipe.

I worked at subway for 8 years, I’ve been there since sweet onion sauce and the chicken teriyaki first came to be. Now that I work there no longer, it’s to expensive to get my fix everyday.

I found this recipe. It’s not precise, but it has similar flavors, textures, and sweetness to make a good substitute. The downside is you need to start buying a lot of cornsyrup to make it.

40 calories per serving

The Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki Sandwich is one of Subway’s biggest new product rollouts in chain history. The sandwich is made with common ingredients: teriyaki-glazed chicken breast strips, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, and olives. But what sets it apart from all other teriyaki chicken sandwiches is Subway’s delicious Sweet Onion Sauce. You can ask for as much of the scrumptious sauce as you want on your custom-made sub at the huge sandwich chain, but you won’t get any extra to take home, even if you offer to pay. Now you can add a clone version of the sauce to your home-built sandwich masterpieces whenever you want.

1/2 cup light corn syrup 1tablespoon minced white onion 1tablespoon red wine vinegar 2teaspoons white vinegar 1teaspoon balsamic vinegar 1teaspoon brown sugar 1teaspoon buttermilk powder 1/4 teaspoon lemon juice 1/8 teaspoon poppy seeds 1/8 teaspoon salt pinch cracked black pepper pinch garlic powder

1. Combine all the ingredients in a small microwave-safe bowl.

2. Heat the mixture uncovered in the microwave for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes on high until the mixture boils rapidly.

3. Whisk well, cover, and cool.

Makes about 2/3 cup.

My finished product:



22 days Poo-free

So final balance I’ve found for my fine, naturally oily hair uses a conditioner and the baking soda. Vinegar had adverse effects in my hair. Particularly my roots would get really oily and my ends were crunchy, no matter how well I rinsed my hair. I was using distilled Apple Cider Vinegar.

I’ve been using daily:
1/2 cup Baking Soda
2 Tbs distilled water
Make a paste, massage into scalp, rinse thoroughly

Follow with Pureology Precious Oils conditioner. Leave in 1-2 minutes, rinse thoroughly.

This particular conditoner has none of the bad things in it I listed in my first post, at least according to their label. I spent a lot fo time in the store reading their labels. My hair does not feel burned out, waxy, or like straw using this.




The apple cider vinegar and my hair type aren’t getting along. I’m still using baking soda, but I switched the vinegar for small amounts of Pureology’s Precious Oil conditioner. I need to find a cheaper alternative, maybe brew my own from oils and herbs, but my hair is responding much better. My ends before were fine, but after time, the vinegar was actually drying them out. This isn’t the effect it is supposed to have, but it’s already established that I have hair that responds abnormally to products.

We’ll see what happens!