I have grown to resent being a woman. All my life, I was made fun of by guys for being a bigger girl and the ones who didn’t would do sexually inappropriate things and laugh because they knew no one would stick up for me. I spend month to month plagued with periods like every woman and more painful problems than most.
I waited over 20 years to give myself to the person I loved, and he’s the man I married. Things were 50/50 and so great. We went out, he helped cook, he helped clean, he went everywhere with me, played games with me, and he helped rack up lots of debt.
Now we’re struggling for both of our careless spending. He agreed to let me do the finances and I run everything by him. I send emails or texts and keep a calendar outlining where the money goes.
He resents me. We stopped having dates, the cuddles are rare, the cleaning has to be done all by me unless I want to fight and nag and cry, and when I want to talk about it, I’m being unreasonable. He gets more money and tells me it’s not his fault I don’t have a job with perks.
It must be nice to go to work and come home to do whatever day after day. I have to clean, I have to do the bills, I have to cook, I have to get groceries, and I have to feel guilty whenever I need something not in the normal budget and feel like I need permission. I resent being a woman. Why is it my job to take shit from men, work full time, and make sure we don’t get evicted? Where are my perks?
I just wanted to feel loved, safe, and come home knowing my sacrifices make life better for someone who loves me and treats me like I’m the star of their world.
Like things were.
I love my husband very much, but I’ve come to resent being a woman. I’m unhappy and society thinks unhappy woman need to swallow and smile….always. They drill it into everyone. What was God thinking when he built women. He should have made miracle workers be stronger people.